Those fucking uneducated psychos are causing a scene outside again !!! I tell you, it is troublesome to the very max for I do not want to fight with down syndrome creeps whom are way below my league and intellectual level.
If I have the time, I would be earning lots of moolah and taking good care of my parents and my family. I would also be socialising with people whom have the same interests, taste, intellectual level and
I would also be taking my Masters in journalism at Columbia University in New York City, the one and only Ivy League for journalism graduate school in the world. I would also be shopping at freaking Robertson boulevard in LA, where I've always wanted to buy cool and trendy stuff from Kitson and Lisa Klein. Btw, for those who do not know
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
I wanna be a female rock star !!!
Even while in the safety and privacy of my own house, I am still being harassed. Harassed even when I am quietly in my thoughts , my own little world while lying on my father's sofa. I am not crazy, mentally ill or schziophrenic you know??? I am a mentally sane and highly intellectual person, but is driven to the edge of insanity
Today, I make a call to UTAR enquiring them on my highly anticipated convocation aka graduation ceremony which would be on March 13. I really need to know on the details on when can I collect my convocation robe and such... since I am all the way from Malacca. Someone from UTAR picked up where a woman rudely said that she was not in charge and bloody fucker gave me the phone number to the Department Of Exams and Scholarships.
A dude picked up where I asked him precise details on my convo. He was telling me the details as I was hastily writing down on some old newspaper when I heard the voices of dumbasses, stupid loser liked ( sam ku lok poh ) old hags talking. As I was talking on the phone to the guy from UTAR and listening carefully to every detail, the voices outside weirdly and strangely got even louder. The voices from outside are beginning to overtake the very important conversation that I am having on the phone from my uni. I am already having difficulty hearing what the guy told me over from the phone. Filled with rage and pissed off to the very core, I wanted to yell/ scream profanities and splash "shit water " outside the window to those lowlife parasites so that they can end their miserable lives once and for all and burn and perish in hell.
I do not want to say what have those retarded and obviously delusional lowlifes say about me, but it absolutely ludicrious and makes no fuckign sense at all. All they know is to talk rubbish and gossip about the lives of other strangers whom obviously, do not even know who the fuck these nosy old hags are??? They should be medicated, and be locked far away in the deep, dark corners of the mental asylum for goodness sake??? I swear if they talk crap about me again, that would be the last day that those fuckwads see daylight !!!
I am not a insane person, and in no absolute way do I want to be in the same league as those retarded lunatics banshees from hell. If I act liked them, I fear that I will decrease my level of intellectual. After all, aren't mentally challenged or down syndrome people meant to act in this manner??? It's an incurable brain defect that they were born intact with and they just can't help it since it's liked first nature to them???
I am a tough and strong chick, but believe me , I only act so because I have to do everything myself and have no one to depend on. But, I am a tough and strong chick which is an undenying fact. I wanted to say in dividual because I hated streotyping myself with gender such as male or female. I am not a very feminine person, although there is still some ounches of
Today, I am depressed, tired, drained out of energy, in shock, horror, disbelief and total disgust with what I have heard from the lowlifes out there. I can't believe that are not only uneducated, but also
Pulling myself through, I went to my pop's shop to help out since I am basically jobless. My lifelong dream and true passion has always been music, writing and entertainment, but I am still waiting for the good reply from the newspaper agencies and magazines that I applied to. Actually, I am already accepted for a marketing and sales job which will start after chinese new year but dad told me to work for my realtive instead whom is a General Manager at some book publishing comapny which publishes school books for students. Dad said that I needed a headstart since I have no experince
I also went for interview as a sales executive at some fashion retail outlet belonging to a well known, extermely popular and overrated homegrown local fashion brand. The interview was crappy and retarded to the max for the interviewer and also the so-called manger whom interview me can't even speak English properly. It's obvious that she's Chinese educated, and yes I do have an extreme dislike and prejudice for Chinese educated freaks since their attitude also sucks. Especilaly those type whom get jealous, petty and vengeful when they see someone Englsih educated( liked me ) whom speaks perfect and flawless Englsih.
During the interview, she as
Today, I make a call to UTAR enquiring them on my highly anticipated convocation aka graduation ceremony which would be on March 13. I really need to know on the details on when can I collect my convocation robe and such... since I am all the way from Malacca. Someone from UTAR picked up where a woman rudely said that she was not in charge and bloody fucker gave me the phone number to the Department Of Exams and Scholarships.
A dude picked up where I asked him precise details on my convo. He was telling me the details as I was hastily writing down on some old newspaper when I heard the voices of dumbasses, stupid loser liked ( sam ku lok poh ) old hags talking. As I was talking on the phone to the guy from UTAR and listening carefully to every detail, the voices outside weirdly and strangely got even louder. The voices from outside are beginning to overtake the very important conversation that I am having on the phone from my uni. I am already having difficulty hearing what the guy told me over from the phone. Filled with rage and pissed off to the very core, I wanted to yell/ scream profanities and splash "shit water " outside the window to those lowlife parasites so that they can end their miserable lives once and for all and burn and perish in hell.
I do not want to say what have those retarded and obviously delusional lowlifes say about me, but it absolutely ludicrious and makes no fuckign sense at all. All they know is to talk rubbish and gossip about the lives of other strangers whom obviously, do not even know who the fuck these nosy old hags are??? They should be medicated, and be locked far away in the deep, dark corners of the mental asylum for goodness sake??? I swear if they talk crap about me again, that would be the last day that those fuckwads see daylight !!!
I am not a insane person, and in no absolute way do I want to be in the same league as those retarded lunatics banshees from hell. If I act liked them, I fear that I will decrease my level of intellectual. After all, aren't mentally challenged or down syndrome people meant to act in this manner??? It's an incurable brain defect that they were born intact with and they just can't help it since it's liked first nature to them???
I am a tough and strong chick, but believe me , I only act so because I have to do everything myself and have no one to depend on. But, I am a tough and strong chick which is an undenying fact. I wanted to say in dividual because I hated streotyping myself with gender such as male or female. I am not a very feminine person, although there is still some ounches of
Today, I am depressed, tired, drained out of energy, in shock, horror, disbelief and total disgust with what I have heard from the lowlifes out there. I can't believe that are not only uneducated, but also
Pulling myself through, I went to my pop's shop to help out since I am basically jobless. My lifelong dream and true passion has always been music, writing and entertainment, but I am still waiting for the good reply from the newspaper agencies and magazines that I applied to. Actually, I am already accepted for a marketing and sales job which will start after chinese new year but dad told me to work for my realtive instead whom is a General Manager at some book publishing comapny which publishes school books for students. Dad said that I needed a headstart since I have no experince
I also went for interview as a sales executive at some fashion retail outlet belonging to a well known, extermely popular and overrated homegrown local fashion brand. The interview was crappy and retarded to the max for the interviewer and also the so-called manger whom interview me can't even speak English properly. It's obvious that she's Chinese educated, and yes I do have an extreme dislike and prejudice for Chinese educated freaks since their attitude also sucks. Especilaly those type whom get jealous, petty and vengeful when they see someone Englsih educated( liked me ) whom speaks perfect and flawless Englsih.
During the interview, she as
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Absolutely Shocking !!!
My stomach churned and my body froze immediately. I was shocked beyond words till I was speechless and my body would turn blue if there was even a word to describe it. My relative whom was more than five years younger than me turned out completely different since the last time I saw him till I mistakenly thought it was some crazy ass stranger in my house.
Boy, was he ugly !!! At about 18 years old, he shot up by height just liked my older brother ( Bill Gates ) did when he was younger. But, the only thing with the cousin of mine was how negatively drastic he has changed since the last time I saw him which must be a couple of years. Looking absolutely terrible and horryfying with deep sunken hollow cheeks, a gaunt face , long skinny rake-liked limbs attached fragilely to his arms that I swear that they would be easily taken off if it was not a pretty and eye pleasing sight to look upon.
To add on with the mop of hair on his head which just looked like a wig and exactly liked Donald Trump's infamous hairstyle except that his ( relative ) was black in colour since he is an Asian. Worse, his eyebrows seemed joined and linked together creating an ugly unibrow which makes me cringe and shiver when looking at his face .
To hide my fear and disgust, I went back to my computer room as an excuse so that I do not have to hang about in the living room where relatives are sitting on my father's Italian leather black coloured sofa.
I am 25 years old, but I do not feel any unwanted changes to my face at all. In fact, my face seemed to look more youthful, cute and flawless with each day passing compared to the time when I was a teenager. I thanked God for that because I do not want to look old or grow old. I want to look young, cute and youthful forever ! I believe that with my grown confidence, making myself happy and not worrying about what the loser fuckwards think, it is replenishing and reclaiming back my youthful look, beauty and the cuteness I was originally born with. People whom have not seen my kindergarden pictures would be amazed what a cutie pie I am which I was born and bestowed upon. Even though, I am a little fleshy ( mum said ) , but I have nice, cute and perfectly matched, well porpotioned pictures. My hair was shiny, smooth, lush and thick. It was the blackest hair you have seen and it was liked a beautiful ebony. Even better, I would liked some dermatologist or skin specialist to zap off my ugly chicken pox scars on my right cheek and my acne scars. I know pople would say that I am mental, but most of these scars are a result of my own psycotic ways when I was much younger. Originally, I had a beautiful complexion even though I am a little dark ( hitam manis popel would say ) but my psychotic ways of picking and squeezing the pimples that cause me to become the ugly and Than, my confidence will even soar and my career
Boy, was he ugly !!! At about 18 years old, he shot up by height just liked my older brother ( Bill Gates ) did when he was younger. But, the only thing with the cousin of mine was how negatively drastic he has changed since the last time I saw him which must be a couple of years. Looking absolutely terrible and horryfying with deep sunken hollow cheeks, a gaunt face , long skinny rake-liked limbs attached fragilely to his arms that I swear that they would be easily taken off if it was not a pretty and eye pleasing sight to look upon.
To add on with the mop of hair on his head which just looked like a wig and exactly liked Donald Trump's infamous hairstyle except that his ( relative ) was black in colour since he is an Asian. Worse, his eyebrows seemed joined and linked together creating an ugly unibrow which makes me cringe and shiver when looking at his face .
To hide my fear and disgust, I went back to my computer room as an excuse so that I do not have to hang about in the living room where relatives are sitting on my father's Italian leather black coloured sofa.
I am 25 years old, but I do not feel any unwanted changes to my face at all. In fact, my face seemed to look more youthful, cute and flawless with each day passing compared to the time when I was a teenager. I thanked God for that because I do not want to look old or grow old. I want to look young, cute and youthful forever ! I believe that with my grown confidence, making myself happy and not worrying about what the loser fuckwards think, it is replenishing and reclaiming back my youthful look, beauty and the cuteness I was originally born with. People whom have not seen my kindergarden pictures would be amazed what a cutie pie I am which I was born and bestowed upon. Even though, I am a little fleshy ( mum said ) , but I have nice, cute and perfectly matched, well porpotioned pictures. My hair was shiny, smooth, lush and thick. It was the blackest hair you have seen and it was liked a beautiful ebony. Even better, I would liked some dermatologist or skin specialist to zap off my ugly chicken pox scars on my right cheek and my acne scars. I know pople would say that I am mental, but most of these scars are a result of my own psycotic ways when I was much younger. Originally, I had a beautiful complexion even though I am a little dark ( hitam manis popel would say ) but my psychotic ways of picking and squeezing the pimples that cause me to become the ugly and Than, my confidence will even soar and my career
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Monday, February 8, 2010
Nothing in this world is going to discourage what I stand and believe in
A quarter century old already, and yet my stupid parents are still discouraging. I remember that in my teen years, I always get an earful for not studying hard enough, not getting enough good results and being complacent. At that time, I do not have that competitive spirit that I did now for I thought I was still young and therefore, took life easy. I am a sheltered child ( part of my parents faulth ), and did not like to participate in any sports or activities in school. The only thing I liked is eating , watching MTV, Channel V and picking on my pimples which eventually lead to some ugly, minor scarring on my face. Worse, I was also insecure during my growing up years due to constant humiliation from my mother(especially ) , nasty( unsupporting ) good for nothing relatives and also stupid jerks whom you thought whom were your friends. The only good thing growing up was my natural habit of reading quality story books and novels for I am a naturally born ,voracious reader. This has been the most contribution to my sound, excellent and flawless both written and verbally in the command of the English language.
At age 13, what I wanted to do liked most teen girls of my age was to hang out with my friends and have fun. It is also a natural thing for girls of these age with raging hormones to go boy crazy. I would say that no normal and sound minded teen have never behaved that way. If not, something must be very wrong. But what I feel is innocent, adolescent puppy love which is harmless. Everyday, in tuition classes me and my so-called friends would eye and comment on the resident cute guy and giggle liked nobody's business.
My own mother whom probably do not understand that this is all part of grwoing up and a phrase in life would often yell at me and humiliate me till I burst into tears everytime. There would always be a huge shouting match between us that ultimately resulted in my hidden depression and insecurity building up. But puppy love and crushes as it is, as time passed by I do not feel much of such a thing anymore. With age, maturity and experiences in life, my focus is on the important responsibilities that I have in life such as getting good grades in uni and making lots of money in my stable and financially independent, secure career. No longer do I feel the innocent and doe- eyed boy- crazy love that I felt when I was in my early teens. As constantly put down by my own stupid mother, the years went by this young and innocent phrase is over in a blink of an eye.
In some of my tuition classes, there are girls whom are wealthy and whom thought that they are in the power clique or crowd. These girls are stuck up, snobby , elitist and only care about those whom they think are within their clique or as rich and wealthy as them. Me, even though I am proud of my strong, sound and excellent command of the English language secretly admired these girls for I think that they are slimmer than me, better looking than me, wealthier than me...etc. I also admire their lifestyle where they can hang out with their friends at the mall and have a huge spending of pocket money where they can buy whatever that catches their eye.
As for me, I come from an average family whom my mum loved me in the wrong way. All I wanted to do is to become popularAs to why I only became independent at a later age, is also part of her faulth. The constant humiliating all these years have indirectly taken a toll on my selfesteem. She humiliates me everywhere. And, I wasn't a bad kid to begin with. Just a little complacent, slightly lazy and fat. She puts me down while I am hanging at the mall which I would have bumped into someomne that I knew, she puts me down in front of my friends, my teachers, strangers and busybody good for nothing loser realtives which I absolutely detest.
Now, at the age of 25 she still puts me down and humiliates me infront of random idiotic strangers even though I am a full grown adult. She never changes. And liked a long time ago, she never cares about my feeling and never ever given a thought to how I feel and think. I feel that she is venting her anger on me over the so-called misery that she suffered as a child. Honestly, if you feel you have been violated , mistreated and abused since you are a baby and over the many years, why are you still doing stuff for all those useless, good for nothing idiots??? Why are you still cooking and slaving yourself for them even thought they are all more than, way over adults and have wifes and families of their own. Even their children which is not part of your responsibility, you cook and take care of them??? What about their own wives??? They do nothing. You complained about your life and so-called fate that you are stuck in, but yet you continued this unfortunate destiny while you could have use those years to carve a career for you and make lots of money so that your two children could have the best of life and never be looked down by others. Liked always, I am disgustingly humiliated. Especially today in the Nike shoe shop.
Sometimes, I wonder what would I been if during those many years way bakclong ago, someone would come and talk to me in nice, gentle, soothing words and not constant harsh, humiliation and put down??? Someone whom is genuinely sincere and keeps on giving persistent encouragement and kind words to me??? Would my insecurity problem develop, would I be strange, weird liked some ppl say or would I be constantly surrounded in paranoia and having constant rage of monsters speaking ill of me and creating falsehood and malicious lies behind my back. Would I cry myself to sleep everynight and having to deal with bullies and cowards everywhere??? Even crying myself while I am in the midst of an unwanted terrible nightmare of evil and lowlifes bullies attacking and using all sorts of cowardly ways jsut to make me cry and get into me.
At age 13, what I wanted to do liked most teen girls of my age was to hang out with my friends and have fun. It is also a natural thing for girls of these age with raging hormones to go boy crazy. I would say that no normal and sound minded teen have never behaved that way. If not, something must be very wrong. But what I feel is innocent, adolescent puppy love which is harmless. Everyday, in tuition classes me and my so-called friends would eye and comment on the resident cute guy and giggle liked nobody's business.
My own mother whom probably do not understand that this is all part of grwoing up and a phrase in life would often yell at me and humiliate me till I burst into tears everytime. There would always be a huge shouting match between us that ultimately resulted in my hidden depression and insecurity building up. But puppy love and crushes as it is, as time passed by I do not feel much of such a thing anymore. With age, maturity and experiences in life, my focus is on the important responsibilities that I have in life such as getting good grades in uni and making lots of money in my stable and financially independent, secure career. No longer do I feel the innocent and doe- eyed boy- crazy love that I felt when I was in my early teens. As constantly put down by my own stupid mother, the years went by this young and innocent phrase is over in a blink of an eye.
In some of my tuition classes, there are girls whom are wealthy and whom thought that they are in the power clique or crowd. These girls are stuck up, snobby , elitist and only care about those whom they think are within their clique or as rich and wealthy as them. Me, even though I am proud of my strong, sound and excellent command of the English language secretly admired these girls for I think that they are slimmer than me, better looking than me, wealthier than me...etc. I also admire their lifestyle where they can hang out with their friends at the mall and have a huge spending of pocket money where they can buy whatever that catches their eye.
As for me, I come from an average family whom my mum loved me in the wrong way. All I wanted to do is to become popularAs to why I only became independent at a later age, is also part of her faulth. The constant humiliating all these years have indirectly taken a toll on my selfesteem. She humiliates me everywhere. And, I wasn't a bad kid to begin with. Just a little complacent, slightly lazy and fat. She puts me down while I am hanging at the mall which I would have bumped into someomne that I knew, she puts me down in front of my friends, my teachers, strangers and busybody good for nothing loser realtives which I absolutely detest.
Now, at the age of 25 she still puts me down and humiliates me infront of random idiotic strangers even though I am a full grown adult. She never changes. And liked a long time ago, she never cares about my feeling and never ever given a thought to how I feel and think. I feel that she is venting her anger on me over the so-called misery that she suffered as a child. Honestly, if you feel you have been violated , mistreated and abused since you are a baby and over the many years, why are you still doing stuff for all those useless, good for nothing idiots??? Why are you still cooking and slaving yourself for them even thought they are all more than, way over adults and have wifes and families of their own. Even their children which is not part of your responsibility, you cook and take care of them??? What about their own wives??? They do nothing. You complained about your life and so-called fate that you are stuck in, but yet you continued this unfortunate destiny while you could have use those years to carve a career for you and make lots of money so that your two children could have the best of life and never be looked down by others. Liked always, I am disgustingly humiliated. Especially today in the Nike shoe shop.
Sometimes, I wonder what would I been if during those many years way bakclong ago, someone would come and talk to me in nice, gentle, soothing words and not constant harsh, humiliation and put down??? Someone whom is genuinely sincere and keeps on giving persistent encouragement and kind words to me??? Would my insecurity problem develop, would I be strange, weird liked some ppl say or would I be constantly surrounded in paranoia and having constant rage of monsters speaking ill of me and creating falsehood and malicious lies behind my back. Would I cry myself to sleep everynight and having to deal with bullies and cowards everywhere??? Even crying myself while I am in the midst of an unwanted terrible nightmare of evil and lowlifes bullies attacking and using all sorts of cowardly ways jsut to make me cry and get into me.
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